Friday, May 28, 2010

Boys vs. Girls

For anyone that knows me very well, you know that I see things in life as very black and white. I know, there are a million shades of grey in our world, as there should be, but for me I like to bottom line things as much as possible. My best girl friends know all too well that I particularly like to black and white things when it comes to guys. He didn’t text you back? He doesn’t like you. He doesn’t want to meet your family? He doesn’t like you. He only calls you after 10pm or 4 beers? He doesn’t like you. AND even MORE importantly, he doesn’t text you back, he doesn’t want to meet your fam, he only calls late at night after drinking…BE DONE! You deserve better. Do not give the time of day to someone who doesn’t treat you absolutely ridiculously amazing. Period. If you do, then you are pathetic and desperate and clearly are not even remotely ready to make someone else happy let alone yourself. There it is.

So, while I sit on my high horse and preach my black and white religion to all my girl friends and even to myself when I was dating, I have seemed to miss an important point. I find it unacceptable for boys to treat me or my girl friends remotely subpar, but I have allowed my girlfriends to treat me subpar. A recent conversation had my friend shoving, thankfully, my black and white mindset right back into my face saying: it's not that black and white with your girlfriends. After a moment of thought, I replied: maybe it should be. It got me thinking…

Why do I let ANYONE treat me in any way I am not happy with? That doesn’t seem to mesh well with my whole black and white scheme I have going. Why do I feel like I should give chance after chance to someone I am close with when I wouldn’t give it to others I barely know? Shouldn’t the people who I am “close with” treat me BETTER than someone I hardly know since they should care about me? They should want to treat me as best they can since, in theory, they are my friend. So, why am I continuing to let a friend treat me poorly when I would never tolerate such behavior from a stranger? I don’t know.

Maybe, I give more chances to friends because we have history. We share memories. We have cried together in hardship and laughed through life when it seemed ever so hard. Maybe I give more chances because I remember those great times and I want them back again so badly it hurts. I hold onto the hope of old times being reincarnated into something new and different and maybe even wonderful.

My point is this: how long do you let a friend treat you poorly before you lose all hope and just move on? Can you really ever do that? Or because you share this history, this lifetime, do you hold onto hope that one day you might be able to grab a bagel one morning like old times?

I guess it comes down to that hope. Hope is a funny thing. I think hope is something I cannot control. It is there and then one day it isn’t. So maybe the answer is this: You hold on tight to that hope as long as you can and then one day that hope is just gone. And then maybe it won’t hurt. Maybe then you won’t be sad. Maybe losing hope doesn’t have to be a loss at all. Maybe losing hope creates a new beginning.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Head in the clouds

Yesterday was gorgeous. Mother Nature has recently proven to be quite the bitch; however, yesterday she somewhat redeemed herself. She still has a long way to go so don't go getting all team Mother Nature yet. The clouds in Atlanta yesterday were outrageous. They looked like they were out of a cartoon - white puff magical softness everywhere my eyes could see. I know, what's the big to do about clouds crazy? I am telling you, they were outstanding. I have never seen so many dollops of pure white perfection throughout the oh so unnaturally blue Atlanta skyline that normally tends to appear dismal on most hazy days. The perfect storm of cotton on water made the sky to.die.for. Clearly, I headed straight to the park with the fam in tow to absorb every bit deliciousness.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Great philosophers of MY time.

While watching He's Just Not That Into You the other day, I couldn't help but laugh at the opening scene. A little girl gets called dog poop by a little boy at a playground and then her mother proceeds to tell her the only reason the little boy called her dog poop was because he liked her. And that is where all girls get screwed! If someone treats you like crap, then he probably doesn't like you, but according to the movie, it means he does. It means he REALLY likes you. Ha. So, what's the point you ask? We have all seen this movie if not read the book it was adapted from. Well, I think we actually got some pretty great advice when we were kids and from an unexpected source. It is weird to say, but some of the best advice we could give our friends, family, and omg do I dare say, ourselves (!!??) these days comes from our childhood. To think, we had it all figured out when we were just five. It is easy to forget so here are my favs to remind you of some very simple, logical rules to live by.

"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." - Winnie the Pooh
Oh Pooh bear, how I adore thee! This is PERFECT for so many reasons, but I will share one. I have SO many friends that are single right now. People from high school, college (yes, there are a few of us from SC that are not yet married!) and other parts of my life that have yet to find their person. Many of these people are kind of lonely and are just waiting for Prince Charming to come sweeping in on his white horse. Well, first of all, I am pretty sure I already snagged him so keep dreaming ladies :) Secondly, take Pooh's advice. Go get your man! Or your woman, or your dream job or whatever! Pooh has been telling us since our wee years that we cannot just sit around waiting for things to come to us. We need to go out there into the big, dark, scary world and grab it for ourselves. Whatever it maybe. Me likey.

“I used to believe in forever, but forever is too good to be true.” - Winnie the Pooh Sad, but true. Forever doesn't happen. Today might be your last day. So tell the ones you love that you love them and savour each moment. Make today the best day you can have. Smile. Be happy.

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." - Velveteen Rabbit
It takes each of us a different amount of time to really discover who we are and what we are all about. Once you do uncover the Real part of yourself, embrace them. Be yourself. Because those who truly care about you will find those parts of you beautiful. When you are happy in your own skin, in your own mind, in your own beliefs, that is when you are the most beautiful.

"Two rights don't equal a left." BFG
Well, I really think that needs no explanation :)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Mussels are people too.

At the risk of sounding completely incompetent, am I the only one on this tiny ball of dust we call earth that didn't realize mussels were alive?! I mean, I knew they were alive at some point in time. They were alive with their little mussel family deep in the salty sea blanket of protection and life. They were alive with their little mussel boyfriends. They were alive with their little mussel mania conventions. They were alive. I get it.

I just thought that by the time they magically and humanly appeared in my local grocery store they would be dead and ready for consumption. I preface the remainder of this murder confession, I mean, blog post by saying I am not a vegetarian by any means. I eat hamburgers, hot dogs and lord knows what else with the best of them. I do not cry when Wilber appears perfectly fried up on my breakfast platter next to my eggs Benedict nor do I shed tears when Mary's little lamb happens to be oh so scrumptious that she ends up nestled safely, warmly in my tiny tummy. However, I have never cooked anything that was technically still alive. Me no likey.

While carefully selecting my mussels on Sunday, the fish monger asked if I would be preparing the tiny children today. Since I already had a planned menu for that night, I told him my intention was to steam em on up Monday. He proceeded to bag, tag and hand over my small pound of noms and then told me to be sure I stored them in a bowl with a tiny bit of water and open lid so they can breathe until it is cooking time. Excuse me? They can breathe?!?!?

Ugh. I swear the entire time I was preparing my garlic, butter and wine sauce on the stove Horratio, Horris and the whole gang (clearly they had been named by that point) were looking at me. I had to place a towel over the bowl to get some privacy. And then apologized as I slipped them one by one into the pit of despair aka the sauce pan. Sigh. I am a murdered.

I ate 2. I assume it was my dear Horratio and Horris - the twins. And then I become so upset I had to stop and force the bf to stop as well. They were taken out to their final resting place soon thereafter. I hope they like the city provided trash bin. Moral of the story - Mussels are meant to be eaten at restaurants. Not at home. Write that down.

Good day.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Housewarming Gifts

Today, a friend asked for housewarming gift suggestions. My first instinct, like any sane person, was to suggest this golden ticket. Apparently, we were looking for something more serious so the search continued. Google affords us lightening fast information so naturally, that is where I began. The Internet is a scary place my friends (or stalkers whatevs). So besides Billy, which clearly is the front runner, here is a delightful sampling of what cyberspace thinks people actually want for their housewarming gifts...

I must admit I love housewarming parties. The main and most crucial reason my heart swells with joy at the site of a housewarming evite or perfectly printed paper invitation sent through the oh so vintage Pony Express is this: housewarming parties are equal opportunity employers. Gentleman, bear with me. Ladies, let’s go. This reminds me of the episode of SATC when Carrie realizes she is constantly celebrating the life choices of all her friends and said choices are inevitably those in which all the single ladies are left out of - sorry Beyonce. Alas, there is always the housewarming party. Whether you are single, married, divorced, its complicated (oh gee thanks facebook!), or anything in between you, YES YOU, can have a housewarming party too. Oh and you can warm anything from your fabulous new purchased abode (where nothing will be furnished for the next 5-10 year because you just spent every last jager bomb penny on your down payment) to your perfect little cookie cutter Post Property that we have all lived in. That is one of the highlights of our early twenties kids! Everyone is constantly moving and yes, it sucks when it is you, but when it's not you, you get to party. And when it is you, you get gifts and lets all be honest, gifts are glorious.

So for those of you looking forward to our next housewarming, book your tickets to NYC for summer 2011. And you can forget the wall mounted fish bowl (however, I know a few friends who will absolutley ask where they can get that fabulous knife set). Bring your shining face and a good bottle of carmenere and we will be besties for life.

Happy housewarming!