Monday, November 29, 2010

Brilliant Ideas by Me: Airplane travel

Every summer when I was younger, I went to the beach with my mom. I loved our trips and many included my favorite Aunt Pam or one of my mom's other fabulous friends. We always had the best times. I miss those days. I am sure you can remember from your beach vacas the tiny shower that you were requested to use before entering the pool after frolicking beach side all day. Well, I never used those. Ever. I was that kid (or early twenty year old, but details details) who was sand-ridden head to toe and would bypass the line for the cold shower and jump into the deep end of the resort pool. I would bob to the surface refreshed and clean and laugh at all those silly folks for where held down by the man waiting in line.
I think airplanes should have a version of that tiny cold shower nowadays. On my recent nine hour flight home from Holiday abroad, I had the nasty pleasure to sit next to a stinky, stinky man. What happened to common courtesy?! I mean, do some people really not know what deoderent is? After about two hours of learning to breathe through my mouth or turning my entire face the the opposite side for a moment of peace while engaging a severe neck cramp, I was over it! I made up my mind to nicely say something to said cohabitant of my general air space. Well, to my shock as I turned to the sleeping beauty I noticed that SOMEHOW he had ninja unbuttoned his entire shirt AND belt. ICK! The smell was penetrating the final clean pieces of air and now it was at high speed since all barriers had been demolished. Oh and he decided to take full custody of the shared armrest AND fall into my property from time to time for the remainder of the flight. 34,000 feet above ground and not one ounce of fresh, clean air. Puke. Gag. I literally sucked up the rest of the nine hour flight and landed safely home. I booked it off that plane faster than Devon Sawa in Final Destination.

You're welcome for the late 90s reference.

So my friends, my point is: Maybe if the airlines would invent a tiny shower to defunk the funky preboarding we all could enjoy our biscoff cookies and tiny sodas in peace. And no, next beach vaca I will not use the tiny cold shower before jumping cannon ball style into the deep end. If FunkMaster Flex can torture me for nine hours, the rest of the fancy shmancy beach resort can deal with my sandy feet.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Frisk me freely boys!

Recently there has been an uproar regarding the TSA's new scanning tool at the airports. I realize there is a larger underlying reason to be upset about this - mainly as pointed out by the bf that, "all this stuff does is increasingly subject normal travellers to suspicion under the guise of telling them that its keeping them safe which is not particularly making a difference either way or what standard security would do. What they need to be doing is investing more money into intelligence to monitor suspicious people instead of scanning every one's body." I totally agree. We should be investing more efforts where the problem is starting - not where the problem is ending up. However, with that being said, if I need to be frisked, felt up or scanned to get here in two days...SO BE IT.

Perhaps upon my return, I can take a more serious look at this issue. Until then, FRISK ME FREELY!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Saturday, November 13, 2010

ReDiscovery: The Public Library

When is the last time you went to a library? No, not the college library. Speaking of, our college library was one in the same as the community bomb shelter having six floors below ground. I remember kids would crawl out of the stacks and be blinded by light when finally reappearing to the world after five long days of finals. Oh and the exterior was equally unappealing boasting an interesting design that I could only equate with golden suction cups. I digress...

The last time I was a public library must have been years ago...I am talking elementary school. So I realize that this sounds completely of the wall, but I recently have begun a relationship with the Atlanta Fulton County Public Library. Did you know...IT IS FREE! Well, taxes and whatnot, but that is just details. I sauntered into my branch of the Atlanta Fulton County Public Library last Saturday with my unimpressed bf in tow. You see he is in grad school and therefore gets a fancy library at his university. Well, little ole me had to settle for what the county provided. I certainly wasn't impressed by the library itself. Computers that resembled large boxes, fluorescent lighting, a strange lingering mildew smell...I could go on, but I chose to look at the positive. Millions and millions (ok thousands?) of FREE books. I signed up for my brand spanking new library card proudly while Daniel sighed. I think he was jealous and my shinny new card.
After passing the rigorous screening process (verifying my address) and receiving my card, I was off. I popped into the first aisle I saw which turned out to be the World War II section. I poured over the titles not sure which to select for my first time. It was a big decision. I finally settled on Sisterhood of Spies, Women of the OSS and Miss You: the World War II letters of Barbara Wooddall Taylor and Charles E. Taylor.

I spent the rest of the day curled up with a hot latte and a warm pup reading the adventures of the women spies of World War II. Now, while I ponder a career move into international espionage I would suggest YOU go explore the library near you. Seriously, go. Gobble up the first books you find and see what adventures you can stumble upon.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wiki Fact: Daylight Savings Time Sucks

I am not sure why on earth anyone would spend tens of thousands of dollars on college anymore when everything you will ever need to know can be found on For example: daylight savings time.

A common fact that you might not be aware of is my ongoing hatred for daylight savings time: fall version. I hate hate hate falling back an hour. I know, I know...most people love that extra hour of sweet slumber; however, I would glady sacrifice those tender 60 minutes for endless sunlight at the end of along work day. There is nothing worse than going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark. Sigh...until April...

Monday, November 8, 2010

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Boogie Woogie

Do you ever feel like you are not as cool as you used to be? You see "kids" (who are probably only 22 when you are 26) running around wearing really tight pants or spinning on their new iPads and think to yourself - dumb kids! Clearly, I never have that problem; however, I find this song hilarious and amazing all at once.


Friday, November 5, 2010